Guru

first_img Previous Article Next Article This week’s guruFeisty mayor gives hacks the bird It is said that you should never work with children or animals. Guru has hadnumerous management seminars interrupted by little tykes, and can only agree.The kindergarten-speaking circuit just isn’t what it used to be. However, two stories prove that Dr Doolittle may have been on to something.Take, for example, the mayor of Ecuador’s biggest city, who has hired a parrotto speak on his behalf when he is asked ‘undesirable questions’. Jaime Nebot, mayor of Guayaquil, wheeled out the parrot to speak tojournalists. “Here is the parrot that will be in charge to answer all theundesirable questions that I have no time to answer,” he said. “Somepeople only approach me with nonsense talk, so the parrot will answer back inthe same way.” And would your staff show the dedication and coherence of the animals in thecharge of llama farmer, Graham Bailey? He fell in a rabbit hole on his farmnear Kettering, Northants, and was stranded for two hours before the emergencyservices were called. His four loyal llamas leapt to his aid and formed a cordon to prevent anyfurther harm coming to him. Unfortunately, Milo, Bertie, Horatio and Felix,refused to let the ambulance crews anywhere near him. Sleeping partner may be out on ear John D Bellenie, personnel manager at the State Bank of India (UK), admittedwhat many of us know to be true by e-mailing Guru about a survey regarding whatUK workers do when faced with a boring meeting: Dear Guru, I was alarmed at the lack of honesty among those responding to the ACTsurvey, particularly as we all know that personnel is renowned for its honesty!I can only assume that none of the respondents were from the function. Nowhere does it mention a percentage of those who take a nap. Perhaps Iam the only one who attends afternoon meetings, arranged by others to impressattendees with how brilliantly they are performing and to give them theopportunity to blame others for the fact they are not. My personal record todate is sleeping through 50 per cent of a meeting. Guru hopes that by printing this letter, Mr Bellenie’s meeting problems willbe over; as it is unlikely he will be invited to any more meetings (apart,per-haps, from the one to explain the details of a P45 to him). Love in the fast lane for hospital workers A Norwegian hospital is hoping to lift employees’ spirits by providingfacilities for a bit of R&R next to the A&E. St Olav’s Hospital in Trondheim has opened ‘kiss and drive’ lanes so staffcan say goodbye to loved ones without blocking ambulances. Managers hope thatproviding a place for a kiss goodbye will stop traffic impeding the kiss oflife in the emergency entrance. The special lanes on both sides of the road have pink hearts painted on thepavement and will serve the needs of the hospital’s 5,500 staff. “A kiss is a good way to start the day,” states a brochure thaturges staff not to “get in the way” while they are doing it. E-mail is the key to most office friction Alienating people at work is something Guru knows a little bit about.Whether it is refusing to let Guru smoke cigars at his desk or complaints aboutGuru’s hammock between the yucca plants, some people really know how to rubGuru up the wrong way. Just in time, recruitment consultancy Office Angels has released a study onhow not to alienate people at work. The top five pet hates are listed below: – 85 per cent hate being e-mailed by people who sit three feet away – 75 per cent are frustrated by people who listen to voicemails onspeakerphone – 71 per cent are irritated by colleagues who swear at their computer – 68 per cent are annoyed by people’s choice of radio station – 60 per cent are frustrated by colleagues who don’t share tea-makingduties. You have been warned. Comments are closed. GuruOn 4 Nov 2003 in Personnel Today Related posts:No related photos.last_img


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